Happy Birthday Kylie!!

It is Kylie's 2nd birthday! I miss her like crazy. I still have ot send her the gift i got her. She will look SO cute in it. I miss her like crazy today. Oct. 26th is a very hard day on me. I loved my pregnancy so much. That was my time with her. As it gets further and further away it feels like she is less and less part of me.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ASL Two

I am in ASL Two this semester. I love it. There are a lot more activities that I will be able to attend this semester. They are places were I can use my skills (that I am still trying to work on, and trying not to be so nervous with). I am exctied. MY teacher in a sister in my stake. She is a CODA (Child of Deaf Adult), and she has a son who is deaf. I am friends with her oldest child, Ariel. Her and I were always in the same cabin at girls camp. She was one of the only girls that I talked to besides Chasity, Amanda, and the Christopher girls. Ariel is going to the University Ward now, so I see are a lot more then I have in the past.

I am way excited to be able to concider myself fluent in ASl. I know that I can hold a conversation with somone, but it is not yet my second language.

Well I have an hour until I have to be in class. I am going to go read my book, and wait until I have to show my "creative fingerspelling word".... F-A-N. The "F" goes around in circles, like it's the fan part, the "A" goes staight down like it's the pole, and the "N" goes in circless under the "A" like it's the base of the fan. It's not that "creative", but it's the only thing that I could think of.

Kylie said "Petty!"

So I just got back from Utah, what an amazing time that was! I loved spending time with all of them (Kylie, Jared and Tamara)! I had such an amazing time, I didnt want to come home so soon. I still want to be there. I watch the videos and look at the pictures that I took of Kylie all of the time! I miss her so much. She was so much fun!

She knows my name! She said it all the time! I LOVED it! "Abbie, Abbie, Abbie"! It made me feel so loved and welcome! I loved being with her so much. Just watching her, and seeing how she acts. Seeing how she acts to her mom and dad everyday. I loved watching how she works... just so I can understand. Now I dont always have to wonder "I wonder what Kylie is doing right now...Hmmmm??", now I know because I have been with her!

She loved to beat me up. I thought it was so funny, but still. My birthdaughter was beating me up. She would pull my hair, push me under the water, and LAUGH (Oh my she would Laugh). She was rubbing her blanket on my face, in the car, and she must have gotten sick of it, because she pushed my face away (with her WHOLE hand) and said loud and clear "GO".

I tought her how to say Tom Petty. I dont know how well Mom and Dad felt about that one (Sorry, if it was a problem, haha). We were listening to the radio and Elton John was on and I said "Kylie, Elton John or Tom Petty?" Kylie said "Petty!". Then Medonna was on, same thing went on, Kylie said "PETTY!!".

I baught her a water baby, and she loves it! She took it to the Zoo with us on Friday the 19th! It was super cute!

I had so much fun that long weekend. The place that I stayed and the family that let me stay with them were wonderful! Loved them! I couldnt have asked for anything more!

Day by day - Night by night

I have been having a hard couple days. Well weeks really. I just got my phone back two days ago. My car is still gone, bummer! I am not that sad about the car though. I was really really mad and sad about my phone, but it is back, and I feel 100% better!

This morning Manny tried to kill the Rooster. I was so mad at him. He trapped him under my moms car, and was trying to eat him! I felt so bad. Gage wanted to have a taste too, but that didnt happen, I'll tell you that right now! Manny eat three of our ducks, ever since then, we wants to kill everything that has two legs, and makes annoying sounds. Thats probably why he wants them dead! Haha! It's so funny when my boys chase the ducks in the pond. They have so much fun! Gage can do it for hours! Man-Man gets cold really fast.

So I am done with all my ASL! Well I still have my fairy tale to do, but my finals are done! I have my final in my Hum. class on tueday! I am 4.-ing that class! It's really easy to be, so it's not really saying much, but still! I am happy about it!

I had a meeting with Pres. Coffeen yesterday, he didnt show! I guess his person didnt tell him about it. But that's okay, I am ready to talk to him whenever he can! I really wanted it to be yesterday, but oh well. I am going to call him tonight. I hope to get a new meeting set up soon!?!?

I am having a pretty good day today! Yesterday was okay. The day before yesterday was really good! I dont know what what up, but I liked it a lot! It made me happy! I havent had a good day like that in a while! I can't even really think straight anymore. I dont really feel real. I dont know if that makes sense, but it does to me! It's not really fun. I just need to start making better decisions...

Time goes by so fast. If I was still with Christain it would be 3 years today. I guess that it's a good things that it still isnt on. Kylie helped a lot with that one! She is so smart! She has helped in so many ways and she doesnt even know about it! She will though! When she wants to know, she will!

Well it's almost 4:00 and I have a meeting then, so I need to get off and go!

Update!

Hey everyone!

I havent been in for a while. I am hanging out with Sabrina and her kids this weekend! I am having so much fun! I am at the public library with her right now. she doesnt have internet at her place.

I have been loosing hair like CRAZY today, it's making me mad. I'll probably end up bald like my dad! Haha that would be SICK, I sure hope it doesnt happen! I would wig it!

The boys are having a "party" today. It's as big as it gets with 6 mormons! Haha! So I guess it's hanging out, listening to music and taking pictures! Haha, that's as "party" as we get! I LOVE it though!

School has been good! I LOVE ASL! Chasity is taking it next semester, I am so happy! Because I have no one to work with. No one knows it, so I just do it as I am talking. Everyone makes fun! so I am so freaking y that someone else in my world is going to know it! YEAH!!!

Well I only have 22:22 minutes left, and I have to check my myspace and "new" facebook. So 'till next time!

-Abbie

Kylie and I

I love Kylie!! I miss her so much! I can't even think about it most of the time, because it just makes me cry. I hate that I can't spend every second of our lives together. But what I do get, which is a lot, I can't complain about! I am very blessed! I was looking through some more pictures and I found some of her and I that I love! They are amazing! I am sure she will think so to, when she is older! She is the most beautiful person that I have ever seen! And her personality is so perfect! She makes me laugh! She is a lot like me when I was little! I LOVE it! She is so perfect! I can't wait until I get so spend more time with her! I have SOOO many good memories from when I was out there in November! I miss you Kylie Morgan! I love you so much!

Those whom I love

I was just looking at some pictures, and I love a lot of people! I just wanted to tell everyone that is in my life that I love and respect all of you very much! I would be the person that I am without all of you, and I thank you for that! You all mean the world to me, and I wouldnt be much without you! I love you all very much!---(These pictures have no order, because love is love!)


Little Miss. Kylie-Bug!!!


Mrs. Tamara!


Mr. Jared!


Mom and Jim!


Daddy!


Megan!


Mr. Cameron!


Jane!


The Hambrights!


Miss. Tanica


Mr. Tom Petty

Just a little to talk about...

So I have to tell the world some stuff! I am really getting upset about some stuff. It doesn't happen a lot, but when it does, I want to hurt someone...

Okay, here goes nothing! When people are talking about adoption, and they use the wrong words. Like "give up", "gave away", "give away", "not hard", "are you going to adopt her back", "so you are her REAL mom", "so they are not her real parents are they?", "so are you going to be her mom when she is 18?". Any person that knows anything can see why those are wrong. Yes I am her mom... Her birthmother. No, I am not going to adopt her back... Why would I even have done it in the first place? I did not give her away... Did my belly have a "For Free" sign on it? Was she for sale? NOPE! I don't think so! I did not "give up" either, this one is my favorite! It seriously makes me laugh! g-i-v-e u-p... Am I a sissy? Did I turn my back on something that I didn't want? The answer is NO!!! Her parents are always going to be her parents. They are mom and dad, whats so hard to understand about that? I gave birth, I have a mothers love for her... But they are her parents forever and always! And what could be more perfect then that? Who would not want Tamara to be their mom? I do!!! I am amazed that she gets to have the parents that she does! I am pretty much jealous! I love it though!!!

Well I am done! I just needed to put that out there!

Love you all!!!

I so did it!

So I have been trying to get my computer hooked up to the internet all day at Chrissy's house. And I so did it! After like 7 hours, she told me that she had "a phone hooker-upper thing" in her room!! Hahah, thanks Chrissy!! But it worked! LOVE it!

Well I miss Kylie like crazy today. I just want a hug. And I want to be able to look into her eyes, and tell her that I love her! I know that she knows I do, but I just want to tell her face to face. She is so cute! I love looking at their blog, because it's the closest that I can get most of the time! I love seeing pictures of her! They make me so happy! I love being able to see what she looks like every time. She always changes, just little by little though. I miss her like crazy!

I love you my little girl!!

"Party Boyed"

I am feeling kinda crazy. I need to update so that Aunt Billi has something to read! I have not really been up to much. We have people over last night. A lot of people. It was crazy. I was a little overwhelmed. I folded laundry, and watched people play the WII.

After that I went to Sabrina's and got "Party Boyed". It was kinda awkward. I was embarrassed. There was a 11-year-old to a 20-year-old. I kinda enjoyed it! Haha, not! It was a birthday party.

So I am kind of talking about nothing, and I want to go watch TV. I I'll write later!

-Abbie

ASL

I just took my first quiz and my finger spelling quiz.....

I was so antsy!

I got 9 out of ten on my finger one!!! So that's good!

I dont know about my other one yet... I'lll probably find out on tue.! I am kinda excited... I think I did ok...

I miss Kylie a lot today. Well, she knows I love her!!!

Hanging out!

Hey there!

Just hanging out with my friend, and I had a chage to get on!

I am having a good day! I have a really big headache though. It sucks...

That's it!!!

-Abbie

Hey out there!

I have one day left. It's sad. We leave tomorrow in the mid-morning. We have a layover in atlanta and then home we go. I am sad about it. I hate being cold. It has been 70 to 72 here! And I love it! The coldest that it got was 35 (the coldest day of the year so far). My grandpa keeps saying that it's so cold... Not to us (my mom and I), we have to go home to the negatives... NO thanks! I'll pass!

I think I would want to stay here forever, but this is not my life. I have so much at home. I dont really like leaving, at all really. A week is a long time. I like getting away for about 5 days tops. I just miss my life at home. I dont feel like I can move. Nothing is natural here, I am not use to anything. I miss my Gage like crazy. I have talked to him on the phone, and I leave him messages on the phone when I know he is locked up in his cage, because no one is home.

I do not, at all, like the fact that he has to be kooped up all day. My boys are not use to that. They get to play all day, and have me around all the time. I am sure that they feel like there days are all messed up as well!?!? Well I like and want to think. I am pretty sure that thye miss me! I miss them like crazy! I can't wait to get home, and so cuddle and play with them! I love them so much!

I cant wait to see how big Manny has gotten. People who havent been to out house in like a week or two, will be like - "holy moly, he has gotten so big!!!" - So I want to see how much my little boy, who I want to stay little forever, is growing on me. He is getting big to fast... I want him to stay at, what is he now like 40 lbs, forever! I will miss it when he is taller them my Gager!!!

I want my Gager to stop getting so big as well. He is just filling out. Becoming an adult. It's sad. He only has 6 months until he is 2. That means that he is not a "puppy" anymore. I got him when he was 4 months old, and he was so light! Hes ears were so little! Now he keeps getting darker on me, his ears are still so cute, but hes just not 6 months anymore, and it makes me sad. He is still really light, but not as light as he was. He looks like a real Golden should, and I want him to be little again. I want to be able to pick him up, and hug him in my arms... As of two weeks ago, I had to stop picking up The Man because he is to heavy, and its hard to get him off the ground. I can still pick Gage up, just not under his four legs, like you are should pick a dog up! I am sad that they are growing up!

I love them so much! They are great dogs! And I want to spend every moment with them! I hate losing out on time!


Manny (He was six weeks old; we didnt get him until he was 9 weeks and 2 days)


Gage (last summer '08)

Oh So cute!

Grandpa and grandma

I saw my grandpa Davis today after 10 years! It has been a long time! I was really nervous about meeting him. But he is a really awsome guy! I love him! He is a good guy! I had a lot of fun! I walked to ocean, picked up shells, talked, took pictures and funny ones on the beach! It was great! I am glad that I was able to have that time! My grandma is sweet too! I loved her! She seems like she is really easy to talk to! Like she is funny! I think I would get along with her!

They were so real. There was nothing that they had to hide. It didnt seem like it was been 10 years. So much has happened in my life in 10 years, and I felt like when I was with them I was 7 again! I loved it!

I could just tell that he loved me! He wanted to show me everything, and I dont think that he wanted me to leave! I felt loved, and I know that he does!! I loved it! I want to come out again soon! I will never let a 10 year thing happen again. He is to good of a guy to miss out on anymore of his life! I love him and my grandma! It saddens me that I have missed out on so much. His other grandkids look really cool, and we dont know each other, that sucks, and is really sad. I think that I have missed out on a really good grandpa in my life.

I didnt 100% miss out, because I knew he was there, and I have always loved him! And I got a lot, A LOT of respect when I talked to him on the phone last year, and he told me how supportive he was of my with the adoption! It really means a lot to me! I am glad that we spent that time talking!! I really needed it! So I havent really "missed" out, because he has always been there, but I just wish that things were different then they were. I wish I come out every other year, or something like that. Not 10 years apart, thats just sad. I just want to tell him everything! I'm 100% sure that we could talk for hours on end! I just want him to know everything about me!! I am sure going to miss him!

I had a lot of fun today! It was a good time! I will never forget it! I love this day!! Love you grandpa and grandma Davis!!!

-Abbie

Hey there!

Just getting started! Dont really know how to work this out yet... I think I am going to see if Tamara can teach me over the computer??

I just got into Florida today at 4:45 pm! I am having fun so far! Havent been here since I was 11! I am excited about seeing my dads dad! I havent seen him since I was 7! Wow! A long time! It shall be fun!!